The Author
Written by a mom who’s been there.
Linda Hoff
“I am many things — a daughter, sister, mother, grandmother, friend, mentor, and business owner. The one thing I’m not, is a mental health professional.
Although I don’t know if any amount of MI training would have prepared me for what happened when my son turned twenty…”
In 2008 I was excited to be turning 50 years old, a recent empty-nester, my children were young adults beginning their own lives. My daughter was married with twin boys and a newborn baby girl. My son had a job and was living with grandma. Life was good.
B was always an off-center child, with autistic tendencies, OCD, ADHD, a diagnosis of Tourette’s Syndrome, and a rare muscular disorder. Funny, creative, and sensitive, he loved to ride his bike, build things, and play video games. In gifted classes to meet his intellectual needs, he had an IEP to address his social issues.
It was a struggle to get him through school, but in 2006 he graduated high school and things were looking up. Over the next two years, B went through several part time jobs, didn’t feel ready for school, and lived with various friends and family. Nothing stuck out as unusual or problematic, until his grandma called to tell me she was concerned by his odd behaviors.
B was showering in his swim trunks, sure there was a camera in the bathroom. Refusing to eat, he insisted the food in the fridge was poisoned. He was convinced his laptop was bugged. The most frightening behavior was the hundreds of bits of paper in his car noting license plate numbers and secret messages. What was this?
During our next lunch date, he ranted about how everyone was after him, trying to harm him. It would be a big news story when the police caught the guys. B couldn’t tell me who but assured me this was true and terrible. He was afraid for his life. No amount of discussion could convince him that his thoughts were irrational.
Photos by: Cinnamon Rose Photography
Now I was afraid. I didn’t know what this was, but I did know it was the beginning of something horrific. This was the beginning of B’s descent into paranoid schizophrenia. And the beginning of my journey into the intricacies of finding help for a MIAC (mentally ill adult child.) I had no idea the impact this would have on all aspects of my life and my family.
Today my life looks completely different. In many ways it’s so much better than I could have imagined during those early dark days post diagnosis. What I share are my personal experiences, triumphs and failures, and bits of wisdom gleaned from trial and error over the last several years.
I don’t claim to be a trained expert, but have found that what sounds good or looks good on paper doesn’t always give the desired results. While doctors and therapists want what’s best for our children, they don’t live the day in day out chaos of MI.
All information provided in my book Sisters in the Storm is suggestion only. There are no guarantees for results. Take what feels relevant and helpful.
With wishes for growth, acceptance, and happiness ~ Linda Hoff
P.S. Discover why I chose monarch butterflies as the symbol for my transformation from defeated mom to badass warrior. My life is good now, and yours can be too, if you’re willing to begin your own journey of transformation.